We know yet not understand

We know the world is round, but without an explanation, we don’t understand what that means or why that is so. All we know is that the atlas says so and the globe is round.

The atlas is the bible and the globe is our churches. We read and are taught that God loves us but we need revelation. I need revelation. For now it feels like the concept of the world being round has been explained to me in scientific jargon. I need to understand what it means, in a way that this concept beccomes a reality.

Sigh.

Do you understand what it means, truly, to be loved by God?

Cheers.

Coffee Moments: Not Always about you

 

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*sips coffee* *gags*

I will even be bold and say that it is hardly ever about you.

This comment should not be held against me, I am just at that point of my life where humbleness, an old concept yet a totally new experience, has been introduced to me.

I must say clearly, without any icing on this, that it is not a realization that I am enjoying. Not so much because I am a selfish person, but because my selfish ways are being stripped in the middle of the street by worldly forces,  leaving me bowing my head in shame.

We often don’t think of ourselves as selfish, and for the longest time, most of what I do, I have thought about twice. How will the other person feel, think? What will this cost me? What are my principles? Does this moron deserve this stub-erous stare I am giving them?

There is a friend I have, and I must say, even the best of us end up in some dark pits. I could just put his name here because I know for a fact he does not read my blog, but I will not (after a reread that did sound bitter, but because I am not I will just leave that there). For this reason I have difficulty in containing my sarcasm when talking to him. It is not usually with the intention of bringing him down but simply because I knew him before his pit, and now that he is out, I can say what I think and not care about the consequences.

I knew that the c word existed between us when he asked me why I cannot be nice to him, after saying severally he would not date me (Author’s note: I am amazing. Ask around. And I did not say perfect, I said amazing. For the sick reader, get your mind out of there).

See the words I used with him did strike a nerve, otherwise he never would have brought it up. It should be obvious that guys, no matter what role they play in your life, should have their ego…not massaged. Let say… managed. And properly.

It is not about my freedom that I have around him that should matter, but rather his ego.

Such minor situations are continually being brought to my attention by the Spirit. It is hard to make some of these small changes- the number of times I have hit backspace after typing a diss are so many hadi…

So there you have it. It is not about what you feel, think or want to do to others that should matter, rather, what do they think, feel and expect from you that should matter.

 

PS: The milk went stale in the thermos. I still made coffee and attempted to drink it. That strange fruity-yogurt taste was enough to put me off.

 

 

 

Cheers.

Désespéré

Sigh

I want to hurt, submerge my heart in it,

Drown my reason hurriedly in wine,

Call upon the water works,

But what is the use?

 

I want to rant, tell you as is,

Attack and slice you with my words

Reduce your being to basement level,

But what is the use?

 

I want to pray, ask for my way,

Manipulate scripture, justify

Shan and cast down the guilt;

But of what use is it?

 

I want you out of my life,

You anger and agitate me,

My ego cannot handle your truths;

But of what use is it?

 

Tears dry, the pain fades,

Words last, friendships don’t

God reigns, I am powerless

Pride comes, and Fall follows

What then is my use?

 

 

Shift

All she could see was a strip.

It ran across the horizon

Emitting a yellow glow.

She longed for it

Though it gave no warmth.

She put messages in bottles

The crimson fluid pulsating,

Rhyming with the beat of her heart.

She wrote by the dull lantern

straining, fumbling.

She replaced the corks and hurled;

They always made a soft splash as they landed

Swaying, moving, dancing to the waves.

She hoped every day

They reach shore to humanity,

Those she once cared for.

Like those before her,

It was never so.

The mermaid messenger

Fair by all means

Cause it to disappear with a plop.

They settled by the shelf of the grand museum

Next to Alexander’s cook’s assistant

Who in fear of death, wrote.

Her sweet never heard him again.

I, she, knew she would not return;

There was nothing left there for her

But her heart broke and ached

With every ascend and descend of a wave.

She drank, wrote, threw.

She did eventually grow weary

And settled to her lonely sea life;

A speck in the eyes of the rain

As it prepared to pour down.

Lessons from nature

It takes deep revelation to churn out such content. Amazing work.

Lincxrossef

It’s amazing the number of things we learn from nature when it comes to the Bible. During Jesus life time some of the following instances are mentioned:

  • Lilies of the field (God’s bounty)
  • Thorns, figs and thistles (warnings)
  • Palm and branches (victory/ triumph)
  • Hyssop – sponge (reduce pain)
  • The Vine (Mentioned in verse 15)

In the Old Testament, we also get a few, one of them Psalms 1, my old time favorite. Other examples include:

As I was researching about this topic I found two new interesting facts about trees that I think of sharing.

  • One large tree can lift up to 100 gallons of water out of the ground and discharge it into the air in a day.
  • One large tree can provide a day’s supply of oxygen for up to four people.

Trees are great part of vegetation and it’s not unusual that it would be used in…

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The real beauty

Rants

I really have not been in the mood to write.

Granted, there are a lot of things in my life that I do not currently feel like doing. They include, exercising, eating right (those Tuskys tea scones…hmm!), watch news or read the newspapers… the works. I have been making excuses for so long that I am at the point of out rightly objecting any thought that suggests engaging, or lack of, in any of the mentioned activities.

But that changes today.

So the voices in my head let out a loud ‘HA!’

I want to be fit but now work out. I want to be a good great writer but I will not read or write. I basically want to get all the things I desire without working for them. Join me fellow reader in casting out this lazy spirit in Jesus name!

And all the readers said… Amen!

Tomorrow morning I will be waking up at 6:30 to skip. I was listening to Joel Osteen this Sunday morning and he said something sensible. Listen to gospel teachings when working out. That way you are fed the word of God as you sweat and curse the junk you ate the day before. This was a fantastic idea until I realized for the week I will not have internet.

Kindly leave suggestions at the comments section.

 

Thoughts

Now to the point of this post…

I have been talking to a man friend and he said he wants to be an amazing husband and an equally fantastic father… dear reader, get your mind away from that train of thought. It is not what you think. Moving on… his words made me realize that he had actually put thought into his future and who he wanted to be in Christ. Apart from a list of things I desire in my dream man (yes, all ladies have that), I have not put much thought into my life after ‘I do’. There was a point I prayed and worked at being a good girlfriend, then a good wife- okay that last one was is not entirely true. Now guess what the next step is. Yes, working to be a good mother.

Did I mention that I am not yet 23?

I have this new amazing bible that my parents got me for my graduation present, True Identity- the Bible for Women (NIV), and it has in my week of use being challenging me immensely. There is one thing I would like to share with you.

 

 [3] Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. [4] Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. [5] For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.  

I Peter 3:3-5

 

To my Christian ladies, I am not telling you to not take care of yourselves, doll yourself up and all, by all means do. Looking good should not be an exemption just because you are made in the image of God. But if you stumble upon the following questions, check your definition of beauty.

  1. Are you trying to earn someone else’s acceptance, perhaps your own?
  2. Is your identity wrapped up in how you look?
  3. Are you trying to get more attention from men?
  4. Are you investing on the physical or into God’s kingdom?

Like some ladies, I stopped trying to dress up to impress men because I thought that I was not physically attractive. Don’t feel sorry for me, I now know that I am beautiful! However, answering some of the questions was hard. That last question make me realized that I indeed have things to work on. I have 40+ pairs of earrings. In reality I could bless someone with some of them, use the money to help someone out… the like.

My priorities need to change. As I am, my spirit is far from gentle, far from quiet. My target at the moment should be working, aided by the Holy Spirit (we all know we can’t change on our own accord), to transform the inner me. Getting into shape currently ranks second.

 

That last line just made me want to not exercise in the name of inner beauty. Oh humans…

 

 

Cheers.

 

Coffee Moments- The Suffering Nation

It only makes sense to start a chain of ‘Coffee Moments’ posts given that I do a whole lot of coffee drinking. I can’t promise to be super interesting at all times but there is always a lesson.

*sips coffee*

Rants

Today I am having coffee at Chicken Inn as I wait for my friend in her neighborhood to get back from Places so she can, well, unlock her house. That doesn’t make a dam of sense but bear with me. My left eye is twitching with sleep.

As we speak I can tell the Chaywa (a product of the Coca Cola company)’s milk truck on it’s way to this restaurant chain got hijacked by ninja cows and the drivers are currently being held hostage; I mean for all I know I can now walk into any leading supermarket and get milk flavored water. In accordance to my rights as a PAYING customer who is dissatisfied with the product, I walked over to ask if I can get more milk into this concoction.

Of course they refused. I am tempted to chant ‘TIA’ but I would be speaking out of ignorance. But hey, there is a village in Nepal that drinks worse coffee.

Thoughts

At this moment two things, in my perception, are true. Kenyans dislike bad services and two, rarely do anything about it. You will have the occasional man or woman speak out against injustices but rarely will the rest of the crowd join in support.

Yes, Kenyans are a suffering people. It honestly is painful. We will grumbled and complain amongst ourselves but hardly ever to the source of discomfort, pain, misery and other synonyms. I can understand that it is mostly due to the fact that complaining hardly ever gets us what we want. So my suggestion is that we boycott a place or product until they can up their standards. (Kenyan, please, don’t go to your weekly joint and complain about how bad services or the food is. Change venues or just shut up.)

So if you don’t like something, give the person offering you services, politely, a piece of your mind. Get them to see how rubbish a time you are having and how they can help you. Smile a lot, sigh excessively if you have to, but remain kind.

I am aware that there are limitations to this suggestion. They include:-

1) the attendant may be a cold stone wall
2) you are in a hurry
3) you are just shady and not aware of how something should look like, taste, feel etc
4) a meteor is headed straight at you to which point the problem seizes to  be a problem
5) you are the only one with the complaint.

My point here is you don’t have to suffer silently. Find a way to get value for your money. Like now I just know not to have coffee here again. I however suggest you hold your tongue if all you want to do is complain and not solve your situation. It is not a good shade.

Ni hayo tu!

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Cheers.