#PanganiBlast – 10 things to note

After reading the tweets mentioning this hashtag, there are both some interesting and disturbing things I have noted about the Kenyans tweeting.

  1. There are a lot of messages of condolences to the families of the deceased police men and a prayer for the fallen heros.
  2. People are saying that police should not enter vehicles they are escorting to the police station. I haven’t read the handbook so I won’t comment on this.
  3. Others are of the perception the reason why the policemen entered the salon car was to extort money from the two civilians in the ‘suspicious’ vehicle. Speculation galore.
  4. There is a lot of advising as to how resources should be used, i.e not KES18 m on traffic lights but on sniffer dogs and proper police checks. It also appears that some Kenyans feel that the police are not properly trained to handle security checks.
  5. There was a call for the expansion of the  . I feel the need to point out that relevant authorities have not communicated who the civilians  in the car were. Also, is this current security operation effective? Will this blast increase the intensity of the racial profiling playing out if the persons were indeed of Somali origin?
  6. Someone thought the entire Somali community in Kenya is to blame. In this case, ignorance is just plain rude- that is some serious stereotyping and generalization right there.
  7. There is an individual that said  the current security problem should be expected given the tribe of the leader currently in power. *face-palm*
  8. There are of course a couple of ‘LOL’s being thrown around because you know, we Kenyans have managed to find humor in everything. Ole Lenku is the butt of a couple of jokes.
  9. Some tweets mention the massacres in South Sudan. Iraq was also mentioned. I just think the world is coming to an end.
  10. There is concern that all probox drivers are potential suspects given that the escape-vehicle was a probox.

I tried using an online site to gauge the sentiment of the people tweeting but it was inconclusive; it was generally deemed positive but I beg to differ. Let me know what you picked up on.




Disclaimer: These thoughts are purely my own. Feel free to read all the tweets from the hashtag and form your own opinion of the sentiments shared. 


the importance of failure

“in failure, you become self aware of your habits, your emotions, etc. Self awareness is one of the most important things you can have in life, because sometimes we really think we know ourselves but in reality we haven’t even started. “

hearts on sleeves club

If I were to ask you what failure is, you probably wouldn’t have any words to describe it, but if I asked you what failure felt like it would be a different story. Failure really doesn’t have a definition. I believe this to be, because everybody has a different kind of failure, or a different idea of what failing entails. Technically failure means a “lack of success”. We associate failure with negative feelings, emotions, and ideas. You hear the word failure and it automatically makes your stomach turn because nobody likes to fail. There is a constant negative aura around the word failure, but I believe its time we start looking at failure in a different light.

Let’s take success for example, failure’s complete opposite. When you succeed I can speak for everyone when we say there is no other feeling like it. You did it, you made it, but…

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Phoneless Week: Day 2

Turns out that there will only be three posts in this series making the total days of phone-less-ness four. Oh well.

Apart from the amount of reading I am getting done (and spring cleaning) I realize that I need to prioritize important tasks and allocate time accordingly. I also noticed I am relationship oriented but I need to take time and feed me.

Moving right along…


Thought #1: Don’t fall for the lie

Moses and Paul were murderers. One led a mass exodus of Israelites from Egypt to somewhere before the promised land after causing major harassment and catastrophe to their former captors while the latter is the major contributor of the New Testament.

So when the devil, or your thoughts, tells you that you can’t be used of God in a public way, know it’s a lie. Your past will not automatically disappear and people may use it against you, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t have the authority to speak all things God. If anything, your testimony should be stronger.

Thought #2: Thankfulness

My dad is awesome.

I appreciate that every day, without fail, he will knock at his  each of his children’s bedroom doors, say hi, chat for a bit then go about his way. Today he stopped by and talked about his desire to be thankful to God, specifically my getting a good work place and my younger brother his school internship. He let me know that for that reason he went for the Way of the Cross and mass on Good Friday and couldn’t join us for my mum’s family function in the village.

Instead of thanking God with all my heart my mind has been clouded by unfinished business that I need to move on from whether or not I was wronged. That is a working progress but hoping to wake up joyful this morning (it is past midnight).

Thought #3: Oh no…

This meme makes sense to me now. It is rather a sad situation.

money owed

Phoneless Week: Day 1

It really is day three but work with me here


Our society is narcissistic so let us not pretend that being phoneless is not a big deal!

That said, I may have skipped the denial stage all together because I have such a peace about not having a phone. It feels like a detox mainly because this time (*rolls eyes* TWO DAYS!)  has helped me know who I care about enough to miss and reach out to on social media explaining my state. I do however accept the fact that those who aren’t looking for me haven’t missed me either; I am fine with that. 🙂

This short series documents my main share-able thoughts  regarding things I feel I would otherwise not notice or form a complete thought about because a message just came in.


Thought #1: Why God created…

I have been having conversations with God about why in the world He created flies. I do believe that everything He created was good but I highly doubt that when He was on earth He would let flies do their business in His blood stream, suck out fresh blood and He tell them, ‘Go in peace, my blood has made you whole and you will never thirst again.’ Did He swat and kill them? I thank God for the Spirit as he guides us on our journey where the bible does not provide answers to some of these problems.  These creatures time and time again have tried my patience and cool.

Let’s not get started on mosquitoes.


Thought #2: The gender curse

My younger brother will be off for an internship this morning somewhere in Rift Valley and we siblings and a friend were to take him. I was really excited about the road trip! I had planned what to wear and was to take the camera with me and  post to you awesome landscape pictures when I got back. As you have guessed, it won’t happen. I shall be indoors trying not to mope. It has everything to do with the fact that I am female. There is so much I would like to do but noooo! The girl child needs protecting because crazy moral-less people (men) exist.

Which leads me to my third thought…


Thought #3: Cold quiet society



At what point did we become so cold? I had mentioned in a previous post that lax morals are an indication that these are the last days. What’s worse is our silence over things taking place around us. There has been a crack down against terrorism in Kenya but it really is gross stereotyping of a people (read racism). We normal ‘citizens’ are silent because we are not the ones being racially profiled and ignore the humans right violations taking place, including the setting up of a camp at Kasarani Safaricom Stadium for ‘these people’. Michael says it well in his article titled Are You Safe Now:

“We hang on to the operation because we want to feel safe. We want the police to be right. We want Somalis to be terrorists because then we will have a face to look at. We will have a place to point and say ‘there lies the problem.’ We will have, what we have now. A constructed other that we can point to and blame.”

When did we become too cool, or even worse, least bothered to speak out against wrongs in our society? Where, if it initially existed, did the empathy go?

Check out   on Twitter for more. 






Quick word

So now therefore- I have been thinking for the past two weeks whether I need to practice some sense of restraint in what I publish on this blog. This was because during an interview my current employer mentioned that they had wanted to open my blog and read it before I walked in to the room but never got a chance to. I went into a slight panic but relaxed because most of my views are conservative, something a lady we went to school with mentioned to me in a private message.

That said, it feels that this self-censorship is counter-productive. The aim of this blog is to share my thoughts and hopefully help someone either through encouragement or simply give them something to think about to improve their life through my experiences. This is far from a diary- our laundry should remain that; ours.

I just want to mention that Christianity is not equated to perfection. It is illusive and it is a hunt that I am trying to give up as I come to terms with just what it means to be human. I do my best to share and give advise on things that I have overcome or have come to a realization about but there is a world of things I am yet to learn, adopt, give up or embrace. Currently in the school of life I am trying to accept the fact that my life map is going nothing like what I imagined and it is a constant struggle of trying to learn and submit to God’s will over my life and trying to ‘do me’. There are a lot of things I need to unlearn, and if you are a mature Christian you might pick up on this.

I am aware that there is a non-Christian demographic that reads my blog, Maryam being one of them (she is such a gentle soul though I think she deleted her blog :/ I can’t find her!), and also professed atheist- I do not wish to impose my values on you but rather I ask you to view this blog as a documentation of a journey and not a Christian fanatic on a mission to condemn and/or convert. But if I manage to win you over, AWESOME! Jesus is cooler than I ever imagined 😀

In conclusion, I will try find a balance between speaking my mind, not offending anyone and yet publishing information that would violate my privacy- there are some things strangers don’t need to know. So work with me people. If you have any ideas as to how I can accomplish this, make use of the comments section below!




Thanks and cheers!



PS: It is 1:19 am. Please forgive any typos or weird sentence structure.


Shades of Grey

Pit:         You are so going to hell for this.

Kiki:       That is a possibility actually… It has always been a possibility.

Pit:         So, are you going to tell her?

Kiki:       You know the answer to that.

Pit:         I actually don’t, I can’t read your thoughts.

Kiki:       Gimme a second, Ben’s calling

Pit:         Are you seriously going to put me on hold?!

Kiki:       Sorry…


Ken:       Hey love! How are you?

Kiki:       I told dad that I was going for a conference but went out partying for the weekend with Pam and Greg.

Ben:       That is not what I asked love but okay. I know all that. Now tell me, how are you?

Kiki:       I have Pit on hold.

Ben:       I know that too. So tell me, how are you?

Kiki:       And I made out with Greg. If Malika finds out she will be so mad at me! I was so high!

Ben:       Kiki, I know that too but I seriously need you to answer my question.

Kiki:       What question?

Ben:       How are you?

Kiki:       I am freaking out, I am scared that I will lose Malika and if people find out what I did they will think- they will know that I am a fake Christian. Who does these things yet wakes up to do devotions in the morning?

Ben:       Okay.

Kiki:       That’s it?

Ben:       Yes.

Kiki:       Okay… thanks, that was a lot of help.

Ben:       Your sarcasm is noted. What are you going to do about this situation?

Kiki:       Pit is still on hold.

Ben:       Still aware. What are you going to do about this situation?

Kiki:       I DON’T KNOW! What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Ben:       I wouldn’t be in your shoes Kiki.

Kiki:       Are you kidding me right now? You know what? Talk later- Pit’s still on hold.


Pit:         What was Mr. Self-Righteous on about?

Kiki:       Nothing helpful. So, what should I do about this thing?

Pit:         Just keep quite. Malika doesn’t have to know.

Kiki:       Cool. Catch you later, my battery’s low.

Pit:         Alright my little devil!

Kiki:       What the-


Dina:     You know what the right thing to do is though, don’t you?

Kiki:       Knocking before getting into my space is not your forte is it?

Dina:     Do the right thing.

Kiki:       Which is? Things in this world are so grey…

Dina:     Your colour scheme is wrong, that’s why.

Kiki:       This sucks. I feel like crap.

Dina:     As is expected.

Kiki:       *sighs*




Check Yourself!

We live in a pretty rotten society.



I don’t have to give you examples to support my claim because even you, dear reader, knows this to be true. But first, shout out to all Chelsea fans. Back to the point- my generation, we twenty-somethings, are driven mostly by money and are obsessed with the idea of making it big. We envy and idolize not just those in our age bracket that have made it, but those who have made it BIG. We want to be like them- right now. There lie our misplaced values. It’s no longer about following our life purpose but rather about how to acquire money and in the shortest amount of time.

I noted that our parents’ generation is equally rotten. Those in power are doing nothing to lift up the nation, leaving work they should actually be doing to NGOs and other such bodies. These days, no matter where one works, it is about where you can ‘eat’ and people constantly asking, ‘What is in it for me?’ Manipulation, incompetency, outright lies and scheming are now the norm. We stopped getting angry and complaining about these injustices so nowadays we just shrug.

There is something my close friend Goodness said that made me realize that the Kenyan culture is quite dysfunctional. She stated that people assume she had money all the time just because she was an international student. In my eyes I could say that she did have money but only used it on things that mattered. She wasn’t out buying expensive clothes, going out with friends and ever buying lunches at the cafeteria. She saved money and bought things that were important (laptop, camera, phone) and that were of lasting value. She, to some extent, paid a price to own such things. Because of these things, people would want her to buy things for them. If she needed help with something it sometimes came with a ‘then si you buy me…’



Money is nice. Don’t let extremist lie to you. The issue is how we use it. The same camera that captures televangelists is the same one used to film pornography. The camera here is not at fault. If anything, it is impartial.

As I was thinking about this issue it made me wonder if our grandparents and those before them are to blame for the wrong values seen in our parents that we, their children, are taking up. I asked my mum this question and she told me that is not the case. High moral standards were upheld in those days but what did us in was the exposure to international culture. When Kenya was a young nation, our leaders did not set national wholesome values that we as a nation could and should uphold so we just soaked up all the good and bad that came in through the media. Those who had good values were offed, jailed or beaten.

She also let me to 2 Timothy 3: 1-8. The verses are courtesy of Bible Gateway, amplified version.

1 But understand this, that in the last days will come (set in) perilous times of great stress and trouble [hard to deal with and hard to bear].

For people will be lovers of self and [utterly] self-centered, lovers of money and aroused by an inordinate [greedy] desire for wealth, proud and arrogant and contemptuous boasters. They will be abusive (blasphemous, scoffing), disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane.

[They will be] without natural [human] affection (callous and inhuman), relentless (admitting of no truce or appeasement); [they will be] slanderers (false accusers, troublemakers), intemperate and loose in morals and conduct, uncontrolled and fierce, haters of good.

[They will be] treacherous [betrayers], rash, [and] inflated with self-conceit. [They will be] lovers of sensual pleasures and vain amusements more than and rather than lovers of God.

For [although] they hold a form of piety (true religion), they deny and reject and are strangers to the power of it [their conduct belies the genuineness of their profession]. Avoid [all] such people [turn away from them].

For among them are those who worm their way into homes and captivate silly and weak-natured and spiritually dwarfed women, loaded down with [the burden of their] sins [and easily] swayed and led away by various evil desires and seductive impulses.

[These weak women will listen to anybody who will teach them]; they are forever inquiring and getting information, but are never able to arrive at a recognition and knowledge of the Truth.

Now just as [a]Jannes and Jambres were hostile to and resisted Moses, so these men also are hostile to and oppose the Truth. They have depraved and distorted minds, and are reprobate and counterfeit and to be rejected as far as the faith is concerned.

Doesn’t that just sum everything up? So don’t be too shocked about what is happening around us. These are the last days. Check yourself;  do any of these things mentioned in scripture sound like you?





Disclaimer: All views expressed here are grossly generalized to make a point. This does not speak of all persons in society.