Anger stays, it gets comfortable and convinces you it’s in the right place. It will take over you and people around you will slowly retreat and label it ‘that time of month’ or ‘she needs to get laid’. But it’s none of that. It is never any of that. It gives your soul a bear hug and whisper to you, ‘It’s okay, let me hold you, you deserve to feel this because the world has been so unfair to you.’ And it will remain. You will have a few merry moments and you’ll think anger left, until you are alone in your thoughts, then it makes its presence know.
I have lost most of the joy of life and I found out that’s what it was from someone going through the same thing. No one has wronged me really but I get irritated very fast and impatient with a lot. The anger is so thick that when the reminder on my gratitude up pops up I literally have to rack my brain for what to be thankful for. On some days I’ll ignore it all together.
The joy of life eludes me. As an outsider you’d be like, ‘What is she talking about? She has so much going for her.’
Enter the devil.
You can have all the wealth you seek and have the right people around you but once he steals your joy you see no purpose in what’s in your life. What’s the point of having all that you need and want and not be able to enjoy it?
That is the tragedy of life. When your blessings are marred with curses, when people and society tell you that what you are doing is not enough and that you need to get something better than what you have. It may be true but I believe that you should enjoy what you have in that very moment and wait for that something better to appear in its appointed time. Attaining that thing you desire is not guaranteed. <- we all know this, it’s just that most of us can’t seem to GET IT! 😥
And though we always forget this when we are too wrapped up in our lives and selfishly so, let me remind you and me in this moment that there are those who have it worse than we do. Always.
Again, this post does not really have a conclusion to my predicament though I do hope it fades. No wait. It will fade. You can’t hold down awesomeness forever 😀
Any of you feel me??!
A struggling Christian.