Words about a heart

He tore me open and consumed me,

Finishing off with my skin to give no remnants a fighting chance.

I took it with pleasure on my face

But my heart pounded and begged and pleaded.

This organ bounced in his pocket,

cold and detached,

trying to find warmth in the depths of the dark hole,

inching closer to his skin

but the veil made it clear;

you cannot touch his soul.

Me, heartless, lost,

roamed his path after him,

too weak to fight the lies,

but ever pushing the scorching truth behind.

I stumbled and fell into the arms men

Seeking to share their hearts,

to bring solace,

but they liked theirs pumping within them.

My heart was now far off,

but I could hear her whimpering.

And then came the tug.

A few more steps and she would have been gone forever

I scream, yell, curse.

She is dropped to the ground with a thud.

He walks away.

She is crying.

I know she is damaged

but I will not take a step closer.

She is better there.

She knows it too.

If I put her back to her pedestal

She might not survive another giveaway.

Don’t pity her though, she’s a patient one,

waiting for the Good Samaritan

to mend and own her for a change.

Advertisements

Money Lover

Life lessons.

Love, Truth and Life overflow

I was walking home one easy evening in Nairobi, lost in #Foodie thoughts, you know, what I would have for dinner in my #FlatTummyQuest. I had decided on butternut squash and a nice wet fry 🙂 I was already cutting up the cucumbers, the red and yellow capsicum when a man stopped abruptly. He bent to pick up something from the ground. He then turned my way and said, “Huyu ameangusha pesa na anendelea tu kutembea?” (Someone just dropped some money). I encouraged him to go after the man and give it back.

“Aii zi!si hiyo ni carelessness. Tugawane!”(No, he was careless, let’s share it)

By now, I had noticed he reeked of alcohol. I decided to play along.

“Sawa, but let’s find him and give him the money and then demand ‘our share’… imagine if it was you?”. Accompanying the bundle was a receipt of one of the trusted…

View original post 583 more words

God doesn’t dig being a third-wheeler

We Christians can be very superficial.

As I continue to walk-no, let’s drop these Christian terms and keep it real. The times I bother to come to God in thought, Word or speech I realize that I am so far away from being Christ-like that it’s laughable. To try and compensate for this I will put Gospel music in my phone, listen to tracks I like over and over again and ignore the message in the ones that don’t tickle my musical preference. Do the words of the song l like convict me about who God is? Well, sometimes. 😛

Here’s the thing, we Christians, at least those who are like me, understand that we need to spend time in God’s Word and pray [by conversing with Him] to make headway in becoming a true Christian. Things go wrong when we begin to’ inject’ God into things He did not ask to be in.

Classic example: ‘I claim that car in Jesus name!’

Really?!

My other example will be relationships because I have been in plenty than I care to share.

Not so comic break: So after having a heartfelt conversation with my mum about how I finally realize how some things that happened in my childhood and teenage years have contributed to certain behaviors that cause me to seek approval from all the wrong people,  she cuts me off mid-sentence and goes,’Oh, explains why you had many boyfriends, I was getting worried.’

#burn

Back to you lady! So he is ‘saved’. If your non-saved friends treat you better than this dude, walk away. Just not toward the non-saved guy. You need to be on even ground during an argument. You want someone who’ll use the knowledge of God, not his own judgment, to solve the issue… among other issues that come with such a union

images

Story time!

So let’s say, you lady, decide to get with this ‘saved’ guy. Your relationship is not feeling saved enough and it is evident from the fact that you can’t share what was revealed to you during QT because you will be, like before, met with an, ‘Oh that’s nice’ or an ‘Amen’. It then occurs to you that the last time this ‘saved’ guy read the bible was during Christmas and it was because his aunt passed him the bible to read a verse that he doesn’t even remember during a family gathering. So you come up with the idea that you will be calling him every night before you sleep and praying together and quoting a verse or two.

This works for three days until he stops picking your calls only to write a message in the morning saying, ‘Sorry babe I fell asleep, I guess I was more tired than I realized.’ So you give up but not before it hits you- I will be miserable if I say here.

And so you break up.

No, this did not happen to me, just thinking out possible scenarios.

And no, I am not speaking as a spiritual giant, my intro should reconfirm that.

My point, among other points, is stop forming close friendship and relationships with people who are not on your spiritual level especially if you are not a strong Christian because YOU WILL compromise.

Random thought: Explains why some people cut me out in their lives. That’s okay though, I am getting it finally.

So yes, if you have to ‘inject’ God, or rather, force God into something, just know it’s not from Him. I believe that we should be led by the Spirit and trust that he is leading us to the right friendships and relationships. That said, I am not talking about evangelizing to a friend for that is different because in that case you will know in your heart that you are to speak to them about God and believe that the Spirit will put the right words in your heart and mouth. I am talking about using God to justify or validate your friendship/relationship.

If you are in this situation and you believe that you are there for a reason, that’s cool, stay and patiently bare through it, but if you feel that it’s a waste of time and it’s causing you to sin, just walk away.

These are my thoughts, don’t quote me in our breakup.

Yours Truthfully,

A struggling Christian wanting so badly to enter God’s rest.