When Hardheadedness Trends

For some reason all these articles about the type of wife to be or type of spouse to look for have been flooding my timeline. Before you say something foolish like ‘the universe is trying to tell you something Maureen’ let me tell you something. In this almost 25 year old space I am in, a ring and babies are the last thing on my mind. I know, I know, ‘you wait till you are 30 then you will be crying for that ring and baby.’ I am all for God interrupting the space I am in but anyone else, pick a ticket and hand it to my receptionist for shredding. I will not be in that space for a few years.

I think I have seen so many miserable marriages that I want to first grow up before committing to another person. Charity begins from within.

Now that that’s out of the way…

These relationship articles are good, you know, especially if they have something like ‘God fearing’ and ‘commitment’ as some of the things to look for/be. But that aside, they are getting on my nerves!

hhdI’ll give a hilarious example- not sure our pastor should have used this as an example because I am not for ‘Bashing by the Pulpit’ but let me tell you anyway. So apparently there is a Spirit filled gentleman in our church (no idea which one) who wants to get married. So his peers told him to go for premarital counselling from some of the couples in our church and guy said, ‘Abraham and Sarah didn’t need premarital counselling’ or something close to that. And I remember saying out loud, ‘Well that worked well for them…’ yes, I suffer from frequent verbal diarrhea, but the good work He began in me will be brought to completion. 😀

Stick with me, this is going somewhere.

So in as much as this guy PROBABLY isn’t doing the right ‘OBVIOUS’ thing, we are very much like him than we realize. We really don’t like being told what to do and THIS is a major problem I have. If you make me do something I did not sign up for, my full displeasure will be laid out to you in action or the quality of the work I produce. I subscribe to the spirit of, ‘If you can do this yourself, please do. Don’t pass to me things you do not want to do because I will perceive them to be trash.’

As you may have picked up by now, no chills will be given during the writing of this post.

Onward we go!

1deda543ff6f585a14f99507317617ccIn that same Spirit, between 1:30 and 4 am today it occurred to me that I fear God. Like, I think He is out to get me- not as much anymore though. During my campus days He did a lot of sledge hammering on me- you may also know it as chastisement- to the point that I believed my existence was quite pointless. The constant bashing or negative consequences to my actions (as in, grace was in wanting amounts here!) reduced me to believe that’s how God works.

We are covering the box with wrapping paper now…

Because I had this mental picture of God, it is ABSOLUTELY hard for me to believe He loves me. I know because ‘The Bible says so’ but in thought and emotion… not so much. For this reason, everything the bible tells me to do has become a chore. Yes people, LET’S BE REAL! There is no delight in spending time with Him, it is more of ‘I must do this so that my life doesn’t ‘suck’ beyond this point.’

Cello taping…

The reason why I took all the sledge hammering personally is because as humans, we really don’t like being told that we are wrong, and when reading these articles, though most give sound advice, does anyone ever go, ‘Hmm, I must be pretty awesome because I am doing all these things!’ Erm! I think not! We all struggle, and it’s especially hard when you know what the right thing to do is, but for whatever reason, you can’t and don’t do the right thing, so you get angry when your sins light a fire under your derriere and scorch you proper.


And that is why those articles piss me off. And that is why I think God is out to get me and that is why I am very much like this ninja guy getting married- I DON’T like being told what to do!

For all you critical people, the paragraph is for you, everyone else head on over to the next… Being told what to do does not include being sent for errands, being asked by my supervisor to do something, being shown a better way of doing something etc. it is mainly about someone telling me something ‘obvious’ that I am unable to adopt for one reason or another. Obvious is in quotes because things like common courtesy and decency aren’t obvious modes of operations in society either.

And we are done! TADA!!!

images (2)I am basically hard headed and take correction personally, especially one that comes packaged with sarcasm and ill will. A good number of people are that way as well. But my request, and this is something I am TRYING to work on, correct with love. If not, adopt the spirit of Shut Up. And to those taking correction, especially from wise people and God, get over yourself and work on your flaw.

Being old doesn’t mean you are grown up.


*images courtesy of Google and the awesome people Google picked up from.


When it all falls down

This will be a short post. I hope!

I first would like to thank the four beautiful ladies I have bible study with every Thursday. They have helped me remain in check and through sharing I have learned a lot of things about myself and them. I know that this is the set of friends who will be there for me, encouraging me, lifting me, pushing me, and if need be, kick  me to move forward and keep my eyes focused on the important things.

There are three things I have realized in the past week that, if I keep in mind, all will be well.

  • The devil will start fires in your life to keep you distracted from your goal. If you are not living out God’s true, perfect and pleasing purpose for you, then you are probably distracted by everything ‘you’ affecting your life. He knew that would happen so he gave us Matthew 11: 29-30.
  • It is not all about you. By my family, relatives and even some friends’ standards, I am doing well. I seem to have things working for me, I managed to graduate and such like things. Comparing with some people in my life, it would be very easy for me to think that I am in a position to speak to them about their life choices. This would be foolish pride because I am where I am for one reason- God’s faithfulness, mercy and favor over my life. NOTHING MORE. Without him, I’d be just like everyone else, seriously veering off the path. This was humbling.
  • Do not tell God to take over your love life and then step into one when you don’t hear a yes. Silence is also an answer- ‘Are we seriously having this discussion? Really? You expect me to tell you yes when you know within yourself that I do not approve for various reasons?’ When God says yes, everything will fall perfectly into place and within yourself, by the peace he gives you, you’ll know to go ahead with a relationship. DON’T, and I mean DO NOT enter a relationship with someone who is not godly (the use of the term ‘Christian’ holds little water today) and then invite God by trying to enforce sharing morning devotions and prayers with the other person. That never lasts. So spare yourself the heartache.

That last one I have learned from previous relationships combined. I think for me the red flag is usually this; if I cannot talk freely to a man about what God is doing in my life, and just about his awesomeness in general as I do my bible study crew, then there is a problem.

So that’s all for now!

PS: I have also learnt when to walk away.