For some reason all these articles about the type of wife to be or type of spouse to look for have been flooding my timeline. Before you say something foolish like ‘the universe is trying to tell you something Maureen’ let me tell you something. In this almost 25 year old space I am in, a ring and babies are the last thing on my mind. I know, I know, ‘you wait till you are 30 then you will be crying for that ring and baby.’ I am all for God interrupting the space I am in but anyone else, pick a ticket and hand it to my receptionist for shredding. I will not be in that space for a few years.
I think I have seen so many miserable marriages that I want to first grow up before committing to another person. Charity begins from within.
Now that that’s out of the way…
These relationship articles are good, you know, especially if they have something like ‘God fearing’ and ‘commitment’ as some of the things to look for/be. But that aside, they are getting on my nerves!
I’ll give a hilarious example- not sure our pastor should have used this as an example because I am not for ‘Bashing by the Pulpit’ but let me tell you anyway. So apparently there is a Spirit filled gentleman in our church (no idea which one) who wants to get married. So his peers told him to go for premarital counselling from some of the couples in our church and guy said, ‘Abraham and Sarah didn’t need premarital counselling’ or something close to that. And I remember saying out loud, ‘Well that worked well for them…’ yes, I suffer from frequent verbal diarrhea, but the good work He began in me will be brought to completion. 😀
Stick with me, this is going somewhere.
So in as much as this guy PROBABLY isn’t doing the right ‘OBVIOUS’ thing, we are very much like him than we realize. We really don’t like being told what to do and THIS is a major problem I have. If you make me do something I did not sign up for, my full displeasure will be laid out to you in action or the quality of the work I produce. I subscribe to the spirit of, ‘If you can do this yourself, please do. Don’t pass to me things you do not want to do because I will perceive them to be trash.’
As you may have picked up by now, no chills will be given during the writing of this post.
Onward we go!
In that same Spirit, between 1:30 and 4 am today it occurred to me that I fear God. Like, I think He is out to get me- not as much anymore though. During my campus days He did a lot of sledge hammering on me- you may also know it as chastisement- to the point that I believed my existence was quite pointless. The constant bashing or negative consequences to my actions (as in, grace was in wanting amounts here!) reduced me to believe that’s how God works.
We are covering the box with wrapping paper now…
Because I had this mental picture of God, it is ABSOLUTELY hard for me to believe He loves me. I know because ‘The Bible says so’ but in thought and emotion… not so much. For this reason, everything the bible tells me to do has become a chore. Yes people, LET’S BE REAL! There is no delight in spending time with Him, it is more of ‘I must do this so that my life doesn’t ‘suck’ beyond this point.’
The reason why I took all the sledge hammering personally is because as humans, we really don’t like being told that we are wrong, and when reading these articles, though most give sound advice, does anyone ever go, ‘Hmm, I must be pretty awesome because I am doing all these things!’ Erm! I think not! We all struggle, and it’s especially hard when you know what the right thing to do is, but for whatever reason, you can’t and don’t do the right thing, so you get angry when your sins light a fire under your derriere and scorch you proper.
And that is why those articles piss me off. And that is why I think God is out to get me and that is why I am very much like this ninja guy getting married- I DON’T like being told what to do!
For all you critical people, the paragraph is for you, everyone else head on over to the next… Being told what to do does not include being sent for errands, being asked by my supervisor to do something, being shown a better way of doing something etc. it is mainly about someone telling me something ‘obvious’ that I am unable to adopt for one reason or another. Obvious is in quotes because things like common courtesy and decency aren’t obvious modes of operations in society either.
And we are done! TADA!!!
I am basically hard headed and take correction personally, especially one that comes packaged with sarcasm and ill will. A good number of people are that way as well. But my request, and this is something I am TRYING to work on, correct with love. If not, adopt the spirit of Shut Up. And to those taking correction, especially from wise people and God, get over yourself and work on your flaw.
Being old doesn’t mean you are grown up.
*images courtesy of Google and the awesome people Google picked up from.