*post has been updated. See italicized paragraph.
Life is unfair and humans are deeply flawed. Once we get these in our mind, we are less likely to go about pointing fingers at those we believe to be the cause of our problem.
I am in an awkward position whereby, though I believe in God, He is a distant Father, Jesus is an equally distant relative and the Spirit is the guy who gave me a gift [tongues] and then retreated to join the other two.
The fact that I can’t explain how I am fluent in a foreign tongue that I do not understand and by speaking it my vocals have improved and the singing has become bearable to listen to even in the shower… it would be foolish of me to deny His existence. But that aside, everything else seems not to be going my way, which is okay, they are meant to go His way. Only that they are not going anywhere.
Side note: I am all for the awareness of self and I have come to the place where I would much rather write a piece that will come across as complaining, entitled, foolish, mistaken and victim sounding to a majority of people but have one person gain revelation and begin the journey of self awareness, which is my intention.
Moving on… The reason I am in a slump is because I am a purpose driven person- if my life is not serving a greater purpose, I find it very pointless to live. ‘But you are alive so you have a purpose!’ Being miserably on this planet is not a purpose people. If I am not making a change and contributing to the greater good of the universe, then LORD take me now. It is wasting space and resources. That’s my line of thinking.
So my point of realness was brought about by things not working out in my job and career path. I am not the first to be out of a job so enough with the, ‘You will get a bigger better opportunity!’ I get it comes from a good place but it does nothing for me. The people who are helping me are those sending me RELEVANT links to job advertisements and praying for me. Everyone else, when this comes up, just say ‘You got this!’ That gives me confidence, but anything else, including telling me how people who already have jobs are getting better jobs is in bad taste.
There seriously needs to be a course in this.
I became very miserable at my previous job when it became clear that my great plans on communications where only great in my eyes. It then quickly became about waking up every morning- I am absolutely not a morning person- to earn a salary to fill in the material gap left by my parents- which was quite foolish now that I think about it, but hey, it was my first job with tax attached. My first one and still on my CV was slavery! Ha! Yea, I had to let that one out. But point is, when I come to a place where I see myself as not useful and at the disposal of others for their purposes, I lose energy and creativity, which is bad.
Just came across this article (http://brightside.me/article/why-generation-y-is-unhappy-11105/) …. I can’t! 😀
So in a way, my not making it through the interview of a position I was already holding (women in power, I need to write a piece on that one day…), was a blessing in a way because, though going broke, I am more aware of where I am in life. Let me expound; I had always told myself that I’d quit a job that make me lose my internal balance, and I was so off balance that I did not realize that, while in the rat race, I had this perception of God.
Now, imagine trying to get something (Lord! Give me a job!) from a God you view that way… ha ha ha ha! 😀
‘And why do you see God like that?’ you may ask. Something I came across on one of Prager University videos- The Fifth Commandment, is that it is very difficult to honor God without having had a parent to honor [high respect or esteem- not fear], especially a father.
Sigmund Freud, the father of psychiatry and an atheist, said that in his studies he found that one’s attitude towards one’s father largely shaped one’s attitude towards God.
In an era where we women are crying foul of just how well brought up we are while our men seem to posses only but a few of the qualities they ought to… I do not want children in this space I am in because birthing a child would be an act of cruelty. I fear for the daughter I could have, praying everyday that there is a good, godly and present father out there raising a son to be a man, a good godly man. In the same breath, I would pray that the man whom I am attached to will be present, always affirming, encouraging and loving my daughter, telling her how beautiful, intelligent and capable she is so that she never hears it from another man first, that she may smell deception from miles off and change course, only to walk into the arms of this good, godly man.
So, there you have it people! Ever wondered why you get such a mental block about God? Have a look at your relationship with your father, and please, don’t feel ashamed because that’s what society is wired to do, shame you for having ‘daddy issues’. If they are real and are affecting you, admit them to yourself, deal with them and walk into freedom.
Here’s another thing; none of us asked to be born, so why are you ashamed of the situation you are in when it’s something you had no control over?