Female, are you a ‘panya’?

I would like to take this opportunity to snitch on my 19 year old brother, hoping that the elder one does the right thing and doesn’t snitch on me. *makes gang signs*

So there is this term that he and his boys use to describe females they most probably would not introduce to their mothers.


Now it took asking to know what they were talking about because conversations would go, ‘You guy, will there be panyaz?’ or ‘Hebu come through with some panyaz!’ or ‘Check out that panya.’ Then I was casually told it’s equivalent to ‘shorties’.

A panya is a rat people. A RAT!

Fine, maybe it may have been coined from hood rat- the explanation given did not add up. That’s even beside the point. They are clearly amused by this term used for a specific calibre of females. The feminist in me wants to rise up in arms, or words, and let them know how wrong and degrading and blah blah blah all this is but I know better. If I do so and storm off my brother will go, ‘Eh! Is how you are PMSing for us here? Hebu leave!’ I know this because he’s told me this before.

Yes, he loves me still *brushes tear off cheek*

But before you judge him harshly, he’s a pretty good kid going through this severe disease we call puberty, so allow him his errors. For now, that is.

When I first learned the meaning of the word I was about to go into a feminist/humanity hole but before jumping into the void it occurred to me that this world is a lot of nice things, and a lot of bad things, like is unfair, rotten with a touch of inhuman.

  1. Unfair: these females didn’t ask to be labelled a rodent, but here we are.
  2. Rotten: okay, so a boy calls you a panya… why? ‘Oh! But a girl should be allowed to dress how they please and sleep with whomever they want and act however they want and not be called a name!’ Refer to number one.
  3. Inhuman: I won’t talk about Al Shabaab and ISIS, I’ll talk about the economic giants who’ve advanced their nation at the expense of a man on an ocean island who now wonders what property he’ll leave for his grandchildren because a portion of it is now underwater. Oh and the guy who penetrates a female when they are nearly comatose from drinking too much booze.

Global warming aside, only a handful of people care about you. The rest will do whatever the hell they want.

It can be rough out here people!

I don’t even have a conclusion to this panya business because I’m sure that the back of their (my bro and his friends) minds they know it’s not cool. Plus we will have people read this post and chuckle. So how can anyone be helped here, really?



PS: He really isn’t a bad kid. If anything he can make better food than your boyfriend or girlfriend. Let me know if you want to hire a chef.


female rat

I started with ‘rats’, then ‘female rats’ for distinction, then I thought, to make a point with my post, let me add ‘in bikini’. And here we are. Thanks Google for ignoring the word rat altogether!



Make love, not war

Relationships are quite fascinating to watch and when I was single (that term irritates me, makes a person sound disabled) I was always amused at the drama in other people’s relationships. I also gave seemingly excellent advice as to how my girlfriends could manoeuvre a problem. They kept coming back so I guess I was not that bad, hey?

‘But if you were so good Maureen, why did they keep coming back? Wasn’t your advice meant to cure the problem?’

Well, silly, relationships are like… what’s the name of this game… hit the hamster? I probably can search this online but can’t be bothered. In the game, when you hit one hamster with the hammer you think all your problems are over, but another hamster pops up from another hole, and another and another and another AND ANOTHER!

What I am saying is that we humans have a host of issues, so when one fire is out, another one lights up!

Sounds like life, yes?

Well, here I am, having an out of body experience, mildly amused by the fact that we aren’t as good as we think we are. A friend of mine shared with me articles that insist on the fact that relationship, and marriage essentially, is a coming together of two sinners. So fireworks are guaranteed!

When you see yourself as an equal sinner you become more patient and even understanding of the stupidities of your partner because they are, at the end of the day, patient and understanding of your stupidities, whether or not your stupid is more toned down.

When the Bible tells us that we should be good to people who do us wrong and it equates it to putting hot coal on said wrongdoer’s head, it is with good reason. I do not practice this at all; I just thought I say that. I should but I am not, and that’s something I want to work on in the coming minutes, hours, days, weeks, years, DECADE…!

Now imagine you have been a major ass- on purpose or otherwise- to your partner and instead of them flipping on your, they take you out for a lovely date and your sins and transgressions are not mentioned… how much more of an ass would you feel?? Wouldn’t you then be quick to ask for forgiveness and make things right and, assuming you are not an ass by nature, make sure you are not an ass again?

Yes this has happened to me, I was a total ass at night, next morning this guy shows up with a bouquet of flowers. Then took me out for lunch. Oh how I felt like a moron… oh HOW I felt like a MORON.

Something to think about this new week… make love and not war, yes?

Okay then, off to take my own advice.