Ever wondered why….

“Woman was created because man was bored.”

I am beside myself.

This was something a woman said, but because Jesus turned water into wine, those might have not been the exact words, but were very much implied.

I stopped tagging my posts on social media because I figured those who wanted to read my opinion would subscribe on email because that’s where some important things come in. Also I am not going to publicize from here on out controversial thoughts on social media for attention. You are here because you looked for me. I hope! Or stumbled into… As the spirit leads. 🙂

A bit of background we were having a heated discussion that started with why people should entertain men cheating, to women being the ‘lesser’ species… And I was in shock that people thought this way, and most of all that it’s a belief I once held even as a Christian.

If you believe this as a woman, that’s why he chose you over a woman like me. That’s why he thought of you as fun, as interesting, as intelligent, as what he was looking for. That’s why he stopped calling or texting me. That’s why, female, he appreciates how you lay him and use your assets to seduce him. That’s why you win over women like me- boring, uptight- too Christian. He’ll take you places I dream of being taken by my future husband and buy you things I wish I man would buy me just because, other than liquor to try make me loosen up in more than one area.

That’s why you’ll use words like happy and make me (some lonely times) regret my walk with God because this journey is hard. That’s why your posts online wind me up and make me wonder, what is it about you that made them see you as more worthy? It’s why every thought is a fight between loving myself and wondering why a stranger thought to talk to you and treat me like a pillar holding up a building. For me to question my beauty; should I include detox this week and jog? Or is it how I smile? Should I move my hips more or make my words and voice more ‘feminine’ and sensual?

Should I not write this??

Or do I need to tone down my ‘strong’ personality because I might be the problem? 😆 on the real though, self worth comes from within but I won’t pretend that I’m never plagued with such thoughts from time to time.

Female who thinks those words I opened this post with, good for you for the perks you are getting.

But honestly, I am done wishing to have that.

“…but for Adam there was not found a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs or a part of his side and closed up the [place with] flesh. And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man He built up and made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. Then Adam said, This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2:20-24‬ ‭AMPC‬‬



Like can we seriously deal with the issue?

TedEx is a wormhole. At 3am I found myself watching a talk by Whitney Thore and if you don’t know who that is that’s fine, you can search her online later, and if you have a lot more time in your hands you can check out her Ted Talk. She really makes a good poimt about not waiting to be perfect in your own body to do certain things, and generally, just love your body and don’t let what the world brands you determine your self worth even if they brand you ‘pretty’ or ‘ugly’.

Now I rarely read the comments section because I don’t want to encounter trolls but this time, at 3 something am, I thought, ‘5k likes and 1k dislikes… Hmmm.’

I need to start this with a disclaimer- I respect everyone’s opinion on that YouTube comment section. 

I HOWEVER do not agree with some things said. Plenty of people thought that Whitney was using her life story about being bullied for her weight as her encouraging obesity. The counter argument was, paraphrased, ‘Where we watching the same thing?’ And rhymed with what I said in the first paragraph. Others just said she needs to lose weight in varying not so nice terms.

Which is all fine.

But this felt oddly like ‘what was she wearing?’ ‘why were you there?’ ‘why were you trying to play hero?’ and that sort of thing.

It also oddly felt like ‘just be happy’ ‘the depression is in your head’ ‘stop whining and fix your life’ type of talk.

I have a healthy fear of judging people. I didn’t understand suicidal thoughts, especially because my life didn’t come with the prerequisites of what you need to commits suicide, until I took a route I hadn’t studied to get me to those thoughts. ‘But Maureen, you live in a middle  class estate, educated blah blah blah….?’ Thank you for asking that- you just made my point. 👍

Everyone is unique. We know this. Our fingerprints just tells us how similar yet SO different we are. While we all have fingerprints, they aren’t the same. So what makes us think that if we were quite literally in that person’s shoes we’d react differently from how they have?

That isn’t even the point of this post. I shall use a quote to illustrate.

‘The people who trigger us to feel negative emotion are messengers. They are messamgers for the unhealed parts of our being’~ Teal Swan

So let’s not label these unkind comments people are making as ‘opinions’ but rather as messengers. If any one of those people was bold enough to look at the root aka what illicited those thoughts/opinions, they’d realize it’s not about her weight, its about something in them that needs some serious addressing.

Now go find a corner and ponder. 😊

Levels of ‘poop’ management 

I like to equate growth with potty training.

While you are a step up from pooping in diapers constantly, growth comes with learning to:

  1. Making a habit of telling an older person you need to poo, even if you are in your diapers, so that they can rush you to the potty or the nearest loo. People applaud this effort and won’t blame you if you do poop in your diapers from time to time.
  2. Take yourself to either facility and poop. This is assumed you no longer wear diapers, but when neither is near you go, then go, ‘I couldn’t hold it any longer!
  3. Learn to hold it in till you can get to the nearest facility, yes, even if it’s hours away. #GrownFolkStuff

In case you were lost in the word ‘poop’, the last phase is where we should all aspire to be.

Pre any of the stated phases

Now, if you always have people cleaning up after your mess then you shouldn’t be reading this because everything will offend you. A one year old isn’t familar with words like ‘toilet’ or ‘hold it’. So much of this will be gibbersh. Move along now to stuff that feeds your ego and validates your opinion that the world is here to wait on you and bends to your whims. And to be blamed for things that go wrong in your life.

Phase One

People expect you to constantly mess up so much so that when you do one good thing they are amazed and applaud you. This is fine especially if you are a juvinille or just an adult who refuesed to mature and strive toward becoming an upstanding citizen. But that gets old. People don’t want to hang around you because they don’t know when you’ll drop a stink bomb. That makes you think the world is against you. And it is. No one builds a pit latrine (for my urban people you might wanna google that) in the direction the wind is coming from, it will stink up your house! So we’ll put you on this other side where you can stink up all you want but you won’t affect us especially if we don’t have a say as to whether or not you can be in our lives.

Phase Two

You have your shit together (pun intended) most of the time but you lose your cool when things get too uncomfortable. You call up people and ask them, ‘Are you an a**h***!?’ when you feel they have utterly wronged you (yes, I do have my poop days, I never said I was perfect). You react negatively when someone treats you contrary to how you believe you deserve to be treated. The horns come out and that’s why we hear phrases like, ‘(S)he’s nice, just don’t cross her/him.’ What does that even mean? What’s this implied grey area that you can fly off the handle when you are displeased?

As you might realize, most of us are in this periodic stink bomb phase. Some have good days (when I am not bloated), and some have bad days (me entering my room and realizing I need to open the window and balcony door because the farts stuck to the wall and fabric) .

*inhale* *exhale* that my good people is the smell of honesty. And hyperacidity problems.

Phase Three

The people in this phase piss off those of us in Phase Two. Like my elder brother when he’s dismissing my rants. The hell is wrong with you? 😀

Though he won’t poop, he will fart from time to time. It’s healthy. Let’s all work toward healthy venting with purpose. I dunno where he takes his poop but I want to get to that level where I take hits from people left, right and center but at the end of the day not pour out acquired garbage back out into the world. Instead I’d like to have a conversation with God on how to dispose those things that have injured my heart or are gnawing at my soul, or simply what needs to be dropped on the spot. We are told take everything to God and poop is no exception.

If your thing is yoga and meditation, do it. If it’s journaling or exercise to release that negative energy, do it. Not everyone who chances on this blog is a Christian but the principle, I believe, cuts across.

What phase are you on? Points to ponder.

PS: This is NOT how I expected this post to go and I’ve had to change the title! Oh and sharing is caring 🙂


“You don’t know me!”

“You don’t know me!”

We often say this exasperated or in anger when misunderstood or judged in relationships with people we care about. What I’ve seen in my life however (and in movies 😊) is that when I say it in quiet disbelief without the accompanying neck roll and hair toss then yoooo, you’ve cut me deep! It feels like, ‘All that time and saliva?! God restore to me the years that the locust has stolen!’ Hey, I never said I was not dramatic; I have my own way of dealing with things. 

Note: I’m not a human relation expert so I’ve judged some of y’all especially in times when there were information gaps so… I have no resolution. Just thought I say that before someone goes, *deep voice* ‘That’s rich of you Maureen…’

So! Telling signs that someone doesn’t know you:-

  • When you open up about certain aspects of your life e.g. core beliefs and someone back offs, especially if you were fast friends.
  • When you voice your displeasure about something someone has said/done and they dismiss you as emotional or close minded or just uptight. (I’m not talkimg about someone putting a new roll of tissue next to an empty one and not throwing the latter away, I’m talking about core beliefs. This is two sided; seek to know where the person is coming from, not everyone wakes up with ‘offend someone’ as a task to be ticked off on their to-do-list)
  • You don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things-this is normal but if someone is constantly making your ideas and opinions seem small  then there’s a problem.
  • When taking to someone feels like you’re in a court room (I have been guilty of this…oops! Working on it though!)
  • You can’t tease them because they feel like it’s an attack on them (Even if I have been delivered from this for the most part, most people still perceive me to be the Grinch! 😭)
  • When your ideas and opinions- basically everything you say is met with varying versions of ‘Okay.’ 

This last one is for people with my facial disposition:

  • ‘Are you angry?’ (No homie, my face is just resting)

You know you need deliverance when your former boss goes, ‘If looks could kill.’

Have i missed anything? Let me know!


The friends that gotta go

cropped-1508067_10152234087927904_96768823_n2.jpgThere are people who are so easy to walk away from; they irritate you at first sight, show their nasty true colors after one or two or several seatings… And these people I will cut off without a second thought. I quite honestly like this type. It doesn’t have to be a complete severance, I’ll still be civil when we meet but I won’t call/text for them for whatever reason… Unless it’s professional. I’m sure in your life you have such people and it’s the order of life, no one need take it personally for it goes both ways.

Now there’s another group of people that are absolutely hard and heart wrenching to walk away from and that’s the people who you know are good people, you know they love you but have absolutely rubbish behavior that affects your life: parents, siblings, friends, lovers… I will not talk of marriage because that’s a covenant and I’m not qualified to speak on that. But the a fore mentioned have the potential to not only hurt you niiiicely and thoroughly but also ruin your future.

Truth be told I’ve always thought Jesus was being mean when he told Peter ‘Get behind me Satan!’ But he also adds ‘you are in my way [an offense and a hindrance and a snare to me] for you are minding what partakes not of the nature and quality of God but of men’ (Matthew 16:23 AMPC). And mark you Peter was told prior to this that he’d be the rock on which the  church would be built (Matthew 16:18), not to mention that he was in the inner circle.

I urge you to ask God to reveal which good people in your life are holding you back. This will be painful and you might kick and scream as people are being dragged out of your life, and that’s fine, you won’t die. But like Christ, you have something bigger than the opinion of man that you need to undertake and you can’t have some people stay in your inner circle or space in general.

Things to pray about:
1. Before you get scissor-happy know that some people in your life might justify  need correction. Have that conversation. They repent and come correct, keep them. They become psychotic or view you as a pscho, walk away.

2. This one I haven’t prayed for obvious-ish reasons, but, to whom are you a stumbling block? Ask God to remove you or to show you how to come correct. It’s not always about you, or so I’m learning.


Female who’s life is in relative upheaval (tihihi!)😅

Admit it, We Killed Feminism

Several course meal for thought.

Watch as a woman with access to equal opportunity to greatness is stifled by the standards and expectations we set on her because society’s standards are not the standards of equality yet.

There are things I wouldn’t like to admit to myself. Things such as the encroachment of stupidity in my surroundings that seems to be a willing indulgence as opposed to a tragic outcome of schools becoming the meeting point of kerosene and fire as opposed to the best possible brains. Things such as the need for activism, more especially gender based activism in an age where it is generally accepted that we’ve done enough damage with the empowered girl child and need to collect the boy child from a drunken stupor after he drops out of school because there is no room for him on the path to a board room chair. Things such as saying women need…

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